I'm really discouraged about my playing lately. I take lessons and play with a small orchestra. I've improved so much, but am still so far from sounding good. I'm realizing just how many technical aspects I need to master to sound the way I want to sound. I have decent intonation, and my rhythm is much improved. I thought all I needed to do was add vibrato and dynamics. But now I realize I have a lot more issues with both left and right hand. I can't get notes to sound connected because my bow stops. Each note has too much articulation at the beginning. Getting dynamics right is harder than I thought. I sound awful if I use the marked bowings, because my volume goes up when the bow goes faster whether I want it to or not. I get accents where I don't want them. On the left hand, my shifts are still very audible and my fourth finger notes don't sound clear. My trills and vibrato are both clumsy and uneven.
I'm overwhelmed. It seems like so many aspects have to all come together at once before my playing will sound like music. I don't even know if it's an attainable goal. Can a late starter even get to the level of a good high school student? How many more years?
I'm afraid my learning process is just too slow, and my practice time too limited. Stringed instruments are cruel!








